For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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