It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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