Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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