2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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