so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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