Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Let's get the cat blown out
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize