Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize