Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
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Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
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For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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