whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize