Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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