I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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