he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How does one acquire holy water?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You were trust falling into bushes
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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