What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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