Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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