Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize