Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
And then he peed in my hair
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