Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize