They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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