Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
His nipple licking is glorious
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