I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm like, not good at living.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize