he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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