i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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