i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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