Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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