Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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