The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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