after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
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If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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