Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize