Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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