I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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