STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Drunk is a universal language darling
dude. I can hear the air.
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