Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize