Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I skipped work to stalk him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I skipped work to stalk him. http://tfl.nu/vhpg
  Replies (17) Good night (766) Bad night (3267) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint. http://tfl.nu/8aqq
  Replies (17) Good night (4312) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami." http://tfl.nu/q4af
  Replies (17) Good night (589) Bad night (3799)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms http://tfl.nu/f928
  Replies (30) Good night (456) Bad night (7235)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/1i94
  Replies (8) Good night (516) Bad night (3194) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him http://tfl.nu/azjb
  Replies (50) Good night (1792) Bad night (4634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot. http://tfl.nu/93sx
  Replies (26) Good night (6909) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication http://tfl.nu/40rd
  Replies (16) Good night (8991) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one. http://tfl.nu/p9u2
  Replies (5) Good night (1037) Bad night (3825) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/hw5l
  Replies (9) Good night (3327) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie. http://tfl.nu/nzfy
  Replies (21) Good night (5194) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT http://tfl.nu/bpk7
  Replies (19) Good night (2231) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Not my cup of tea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years. (250): Not my cup of tea http://tfl.nu/83fl
  Replies (5) Good night (1387) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you. http://tfl.nu/su7n
  Replies (11) Good night (2783) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant. http://tfl.nu/br3c
  Replies (7) Good night (895) Bad night (425)

Randomize