guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize