sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize