Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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