i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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