That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
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i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
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hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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