i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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