just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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