Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
MIDGETS
????
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize