If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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