So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
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I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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