so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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