he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize