these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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