i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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