Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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