32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize