the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize