Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize