did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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